Change in the Wind

When I woke this morning and half way opened my eyes I could see it was snowing pretty hard. Living in Syracuse, NY it's a pretty common site in January. As I listened to the morning news I heard we were caught in the middle of lake affect from Lake Erie (unusual to get this far north) AND Lake Ontario. I was a little annoyed that the dogs with their internal alarm clocks were waking me at 5:30am. The usual time I get up. Didn't they sense that today was different. So very different.

After 23 years of working at Syracuse University, a place that I truly love, I am no longer a part of this community.

I was one of the casualties of yesterday's layoff. At 10:00am yesterday there was an email notice that a FULL department meeting was called by the VP for 4:00. At noon I had a personal invite to meet with the VP at 2:00. Does not take a mensa member to figure out what was about to happen. The 2 hours gave me time to go through a whirlwind of emotions. What I did promise myself is I would not let them see me cry. I would hold my head high, ask questions and not let them BS me. And I did what I set out to do.

My "separation agreement" (don't separations eventually lead to divorce?) is fair. Terry and I will be ok for a while. It just seems weird to be in my fuzzy slippers and bathrobe at 10:00am on a Thursday. Being that I was in network security I know standard operating procedure and of course all my access has been removed...including my email. Email will be turned back on, but my address books are there. My manager had tears in his eyes walked back up to my cubicle to get my keys. On the way he said he has connections at various places, not sure what is open, but he is more than willing to make a few calls if I'm interested. The VP said the same thing. So it's not me, it's them. :-) This is a view from my building.

I love this campus. I LOVE seeing the freshmen coming in August with their parents, all wondering what this milestone in their lives will mean. Anxious, happy, sad, hope all expressed in their faces. I feel like that now. I have had a few tears well up, but I have not cried. I am too afraid I will not stop. I have a lot of support from friends and family and that makes all the difference.

Terry and I have decided that it will be best for me to take some time. And I am. I have a few ideas on the back burner that I will investigate. I will definitely need some new training and I am quite positive I do not want to be tied to a computer all day. I like people so much more than a machine. So I am going to try something new. Something challenging and rewarding. It will all be ok. Who knows, what lies ahead may be just what this gal needed all along. What I got gipped on was saying good-bye and a blow-out retirement party and I will miss the 5 weeks vacation time.

As soon as I get a permanent email account set up, I'll let you all know.